Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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