Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
