nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
