there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
