I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
