I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.