So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Canadian or clown?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail