These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
