I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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