I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think weed is turning my hair brown
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize