Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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