I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
