The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I've blown a few things in my day
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
