Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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