Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
