Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
