the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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