That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
