Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive