Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Good luck with that.

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  (419): I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me. (260): Good luck with that. http://tfl.nu/2zv5
  Replies (31) Good night (1113) Bad night (2912)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We've got ourselves a situation

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  (614): Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and.... (614): We've got ourselves a situation http://tfl.nu/efwe
  Replies (51) Good night (7128) Bad night (707)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.

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  (301): he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself. http://tfl.nu/68qu
  Replies (13) Good night (4412) Bad night (1088)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?

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  (801): I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes? http://tfl.nu/05g8
  Replies (5) Good night (3918) Bad night (871)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight

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  (785): one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight http://tfl.nu/06gq
  Replies (12) Good night (2396) Bad night (1099)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.

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  (407): I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight. http://tfl.nu/a28b
  Replies (9) Good night (2957) Bad night (865)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.

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  (978): I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek. http://tfl.nu/dtfv
  Replies (5) Good night (1635) Bad night (685)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"

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  (703): She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose" http://tfl.nu/hdxg
  Replies (3) Good night (916) Bad night (402)
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  (876): View more from Jamaica

  i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend

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  (876): i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend http://tfl.nu/snpm
  Replies (9) Good night (716) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun

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  (614): I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun http://tfl.nu/01eg
  Replies (14) Good night (1275) Bad night (945)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.

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  (773): I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move. http://tfl.nu/qg2k
  Replies (6) Good night (820) Bad night (187)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"

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  (406): Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!" http://tfl.nu/tsa9
  Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (159)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029

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  (402): I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029 http://tfl.nu/erxw
  Replies (7) Good night (277) Bad night (803)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH

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  (262): The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH http://tfl.nu/v3lg
  Replies (0) Good night (574) Bad night (157)
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  (585): View more from New York

  My inner pteradactyl is also confused.

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  (585): My inner pteradactyl is also confused. http://tfl.nu/ve6u
  Replies (3) Good night (593) Bad night (144)

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