That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think my moral compass just broke
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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