he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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