My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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