David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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