I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
