the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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