I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
