Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
