Kiss
Puke
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
There are leaves in my underwear?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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