I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
