So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
