haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
