I must be too annoying 4 u.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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