I wish i was in the wii world.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
