She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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