God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
