i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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