Pappa wants mamma naked
My sheets look like a crime scene.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Boobs are out for the taking
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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