Fuck appropriateness.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
