I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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