I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
