am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
