He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
