Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
