ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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