His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
