Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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