see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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