I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
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there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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