ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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