If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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