i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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