Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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