I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
