Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize