FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
