He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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