I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
