Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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